Doug Goodman

Texas Horror Writer. Cadaver Dog Handler.

Doug's Blog

Free Boba Fett!!

Posted by douggoodman on December 26, 2010 at 6:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Santa brought me lots of goodies for Christmas this year.  I got a Camelbak MULE, the latest volume of The Walking Dead, Season 1 of Sons of Anarchy, some cool Texans and Longhorns shirts, and Star Wars Action Figures.  You heard that last one right.  They were awesome!  I now have a Boba Fett, a Yoda, and a Sandtrooper to add to my collection (which is the Snowtrooper, Darth Vader, Grievous, and Darth Maul, not to mention a few Spawns, Avatars, and Battle Beasts, if your mind goes back that far...). 


The Boba Fett came with an offer for ANOTHER FREE Boba Fett, and I thought, "What could be better than one Boba Fett, but TWO Boba Fetts!"  In true toy world protocol, all I needed was to collect Proofs of Purchase for five Star Wars Action Figures.  Well, I already had three, and I wanted to get a "Tattooine Sandtrooper" action figure because the generic Sandtrooper apparently isn't good enough for the orange shoulderguard, so I was ready to go down to Wal-Mart and pick up two more.  But then I read the fine print, and in a deal that sounded just as crummy as the Lil Orphan Annie Secret Society Decoder Pin scandal, all I had to do was send the Proofs of Purchase plus $7 for the free Boba Fett.  I asked my wife, "Hey, babe, how much did you pay for these?"  "About six bucks."


This is one deal that can be thrown into the Pit of Sarlacc... 

Stormtrooper Fashion

Posted by douggoodman on December 5, 2009 at 4:38 AM Comments comments (0)

I saw a picture of a parent’s child posing with a person dressed as a stormtrooper. The replica uniform looked sharp; the owner was dressed in clone trooper attire/armor and had a blaster rifle. Really cool stuff, but it got me thinking about all the different variations of Star Wars troopers and which ones I liked and didn’t like.


Note: I am limiting this to stormtroopers from the Star Wars movies. It is the only way I know to contain it. I understand there are dozens of varieties of clone troopers and stormtroopers (dark troopers, radtroopers, magma troopers, etc.). I have not seen them all and could not begin to give an opinion without knowing them better.


Clone Troopers – Puckerheads. The rise in the middle of the helmet gives them a bit of a roman legion look, which in turn looks like a rip-off of a BSG Centurion look. (Then again, aren’t BSG Centurions supposed to be rip-offs of Imperial Stormtroopers? So it is a rip-off of a rip-off…?)


Pucker Up!


I always thought the facemask looked like the soldier was puckering his lips, which made me wonder why a soldier would pucker his lips. Is he blowing a kiss to his Jedi generals, or a kiss good-bye as he assassinates them?


Imperial Stormtroopers – The “classic” look. You can’t go wrong here. Adding an orange shoulder guard (pauldron, for those who care) and some kneepads gives you a sandtrooper and looks badass, too. On a side note, I remember as a kid wondering how Luke and Han could wear a robot’s uniform cause I thought they were robots. Thanks to Lucas for explaining it all thirty years later.


Snowtroopers – Wicked cool. By far my favorite trooper uniform. It’s all about the helmet for this one. And of course, there is that giant gatlin-gun thing they use (to typical Imperial Academy marksmanship perfection) to shoot at the Falcon as it takes off.

Stormtrooper haute couture

I remember owning a snowtrooper and playing with it till it was dead. I lived in Lubbock back then, where it actually snowed, so I had these ice castles set up in the front yard where I could riff off the Hoth battle scene. This all probably had a major impact on me – see my story The Ice Dwarves. Once that AT-AT Walker kicked its leg out and shot down one of the rebel fighters, I was sold. My favorite Star Wars battle scene, and the snowtrooper was the coolest looking member. The one downside is the cape. Why would a snowtrooper wear a cape?  Does it help keep them warm?  Does it keep out snow as they run by?  The cape makes them kind of the haute couture of stormtrooperdom.


I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...
and I'm all out of bubble gum!


Scout troopers – I don’t know why the spelling is different for scout trooper than sand, snow, or stormtrooper, but it is what I am getting off Wikipedia and the Star Wars database. Maybe they get the extra space because they were featured in the last movie.  The first last movie, I mean. 


"I call this my Blue Steel look."


The scout trooper’s uniform, like everything else in Return of the Jedi, was svelte and trim, with lots of room for movement. I think there is probably more black than white in this armored suit than any of the others. Normally, this would be bonus points (I like the color black), but the overall look is boxy and slightly effeminate, which is something I hope the Imperial Forces were not looking for when they came up with the uniform. Then again, the snowtroopers had that cape, so maybe there is more to this than I once thought.  This is what I get for overthinking stormtroopers...


TIE pilots and Emperor’s Guard – I didn’t know they weren’t stormtroopers, but I still thought they were cool. (Especially the TIE pilot. Again, the whole “black is cool” thing.) I give these troopers an honorable mention, even if they weren’t actually part of the stormtrooper ranks, because they looked cool, and besides, to a 10 year old, I thought they were all just robots…


Clearly, this is a man in a robot uniform
and not a robot...